Explanations
by nsisdazl
Summary: Explanations for the great mysteries of the HP universe. A series of drabbles ranging from funny to angsty and all the way around.
1. Why Severus Snape never washes his hair

**Why Severus Snape Never Washes Hair**

Actually, this really isn't true. I must protest, because I regularly wash; I would stink otherwise, and that might affect the potions I brew. In fact, I wash every night, it's not my fault that the grease won't come out… well it _is_ my fault. Let me tell you why…

When I was younger, my father was far too stingy to spend money on the bills. So he solved this problem by ordering us, that is, my mother and I, to 1) never wash and 2) never use electricity. That's what candles are for, he claims. So when I was 11, I was relieved to receive a Hogwarts acceptance letter, to get away from my father.

After hearing so many tales of baths and showers from my mother, I was looking forward to when I could experience the forbidden luxury of it all. When I first walked in to the Great Hall, mutters of "Look at that greasy-haired bloke. Has he ever heard of a shower?" only fueled my desire for a bath. After enduring many snide comments on the way to the Slytherin common room and dormitory, I dove for the bathroom.

When I was safely inside, and the door was locked, I began what I thought was going to be the most exciting moment of my life. Sadly, I was mistaken. First off, I didn't know how to turn it on. After many failed attempts, the shower was going. Secondly, I didn't know there was a hot and cold. I merely thought that it would happen on its own. So I suffered scalding water then icy torrents. I finally got the water to a comfortable temperature. Then, I used the soap and shampoo. I was ignorant then, so I used the soap in my hair and the shampoo on my body. After drying myself, I dressed in my night clothes and went to sleep in the most comfortable bed I had ever slept in. I fell asleep happy and clean that night. In the morning, I was to have a much different opinion.

In the morning, I rose, fully rested. I went to the bathroom. Because I had to use it okay? That is the most obvious reason, seeing as I showered before and I only brushed my teeth after I ate. As I went out, I happened to glance in the mirror. What I saw stopped me in my tracks. My hair had frizzed out. It literally stood on end. I looked like I had, what was it those muggles called it?, afroos? afnoos? Ah yes, afros.

I tried everything to keep it down. I brushed my hair, I dumped water on it; my hair just wasn't used to the moisture and would have probably sorted itself out in a few days. But I was desperate and unthinking. I finally grew so desperate, that I grabbed my wand and performed I spell I made up on the spot (which was foolish, I could have blown my head off) to calm my hair down. I, ah, was a _little_ too enthusiastic; my hair was now dripping grease. I ran into the shower to get it off, but it remained greasy. After breakfast and first class was over (and the soap and shampoo gone) I was forced to concede defeat. I could have asked a teacher to put it to rights, but I was ashamed.

I could do it now, but am used to my hair, and despise change. And no, this is _not_ a reason why I hate Sirius Black; I don't care if he has perfect hair that has girls sighing all over him and makes him good-looking and no one calls him a greasy git. Oh what the heck. Maybe I am jealous. Just a little.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Hola, peoples! I was struck by this idea while trying to go to sleep and decided to write it. Hope you enjoyed it!

Until we meet again,

nsisdazl


	2. Why Peter Pettigrew became a Death Eater

Why Peter Pettigrew became a Death Eater

Yes, well, you think I'm evil. You think I must have had some ulterior motive all this time like world power or just power. Ha! Ha-ha-HAH! Some of you more persistent ones insist on dissecting my personality like Sirius or James always pushed me down when we were young; I was constantly the worst and all that rubbish. No! It was not like that! James, Remus, Sirius, they were my _brothers._ You don't betray your brothers because they pick on you. And I didn't go crawling to Voldemort or threatened by his cohorts. Most certainly, I did not go to Voldemort because of mere _power._ Besides, I had all the power I wanted on Dumbledore's side. Friends of the infamous James and Sirius lent me much attention and power. Then what? you ask, what caused you to betray your brothers? I'll tell you what made me betray Dumbledore, my brothers, my sisters, my family. And when I'm done, you cannot but help seeing it my way.

It was a beautiful day in the spring, when Lily and James were nineteen, they decided to wed. Oh yes! We all celebrated at the news, everyone. And I know what you're thinking. Ah hah! Wormtail was jealous! No, no my friend. Lily was just like a sister. So the wedding plans started. All of us, well Remus and I, made our escape from the chaos and the domineering women. I think James was regretting proposing at that time. James, Sirius, and Frank were swept up in the plans; they didn't have a good as survival instinct as werewolves and rats. I didn't expect to be made best man, no! it would have been foolish to. Sirius and James were even closer than brothers, they were like twins or one entity made into two. Remus was eventually discovered and dragged into the planning, I kept myself hidden. I had no wish to be constantly fitted into dress robes, practicing saying my lines, and having no say in anything. I hid in Germany, then France, then Spain, anything to keep away from the clutching hands of the bride, bridesmaid-of-honor, and bridesmaids. The events would happen such that I wish I had endured their torture.

The wedding day had arrived and I apparated into the room for the wedding preparations. The girls sent me death glares for managing to evade their grasp. The men refused to talk to me, irritated that I had been smart enough to keep hidden. Of course I knew they would somehow retaliate. I just didn't think that they would go so far. Even Remus…then again he never approved of humiliating people but never said a word against it if it were James and Sirius that were doing the humiliating. So James went through the wedding jitters and we men took our places. I followed Frank and Remus, but Sirius held me back.

"You have a different job than them." He muttered, dragging me to a place and thrusting a box into my hands.

"What-what do I do?" I stammered. "What's this?"

A different job? Now he had me wishing I came to practices, my freedom be damned. I suddenly perked up. This was probably my punishment. This, I could handle. Oh, how utterly foolish I was not to remember if James and Sirius got revenge on anyone, it was lasting and painful.

"You wait here. When the bride and groom start their vows you come out with," here Sirius drew out from behind him, a seven year old girl with bright blue eyes and dirty blond hair who waved shyly. "her, and go down the aisle and present James with _this_ and Lily with _that_." Sirius pointed quickly to different wedding rings and then vanished.

I should have seen the signs. I'm not genius, but I'm not dumb. Perhaps it was the relief I felt at thinking that all my punishment was was making me feel uneasy about not coming to practices.

"What's your name?" I asked the girl.

"Sophie." She answered with self-possession.

"I'm Peter." I told her. "What are you doing here?"

Sophie puffed her chest out in pride.

"_I'm_ the flower girl." She announced smugly.

"How nice." I said absently.

I should have run then and there, then this whole mess could have been averted and we could have laughed it off later. But no, I was stupid enough to linger by the door, listening intently for my cue.

"I'll tell you when to go." Sophie said. "I've been practicing."

Guilt made my stomach squirm.

"I see." I replied uncomfortably.

"Oh! It's time!" Sophie said excitedly.

"Just a second, Sophie. What's my job?"

Sophie smiled happily. "_You're_ the ring boy, or should I say man?"

Struck with horror, I dazedly stumbled out into the aisle after Sophie who was concentrating very hard on throwing the flowers perfectly. The snickers came after the "aww's" of the women. Everyone laughed when they saw me. The Order members, my schoolmates, my family, everyone. After, Sirius rubbed it in by saying, "I thought you'd recognize the signs mate. I didn't know you'd be stupid enough to stick around." Even Remus, kind, supposedly compassionate, Remus was laughing. At least he had the decency to try to cover it up.

The memory of that day stuck deep within me, burning slowly. Every tiniest slight that anyone would normally look over added fuel to my hatred. Slowly, I convinced myself that I was not on an equal footing with the Marauders, I was their indentured servant. Of course, I wasn't but then I felt like I was. You may belittle me as much as you wish. How could any normal, rational, moral person send a brother's family and numerous friends to their death, set up a friend as a murderer, abandon another, destroy all that they'd worked for, and betray all over a humiliation? Then again, many vendettas and enemies are created by the tiniest slight that is built on, more and more, until they can't stand it and hatred bursts into flame. If I had only admitted how I felt to my brothers, they would have soothed my anger, and none of this would have ever happened.

**Whoa. What I originally intended to be light and funny just turned very deep. Ah well, it's a insane plot bunny. I do intend to create more of the Why so and so did/hate/never/whatever/etc. so and so. Review me ideas if you wish.**

**nsisdazl**


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